Episode 1

Honey! Honey!!

Darl, you’re yelling, Chibuike responded.

Yes, I’m yelling, she continued, I had suggested we bought three kilos of turkey and you insisted on just one. Now we are expecting visitors, my relations, and we have only three pieces left. You know my two sisters would come with their husbands and kids and…

Hey darl, take it easy, he intercepted. You’re turning red already, your yellow sweet cheeks look as red–hot as your hot plates.

Nkechi succeeded in holding back the laughter this time but gave up a smirk that should have been an actual smile.

Hey darl, you’re my sunshine ok. I’m sure we can fix this.

He stared into her eyes and she could see he was trying. If “trying” was anything to go by, he could not be faulted as a family man. He has been between jobs and is currently running a small online business by the side amongst other hustles and manages somehow to put food on the table. He had just retrieved his wife’s phone from the repair shop two days back, only to discover that his sister-in-laws had sent her a Whatsapp chat about a week ago that they would be paying her a visit today. They included that they tried calling her number, but it didn’t go through.

‘Why didn’t they call my line‘ he struggled with his thoughts but would not make mention to his wife – it didn’t change anything.

But it’s Christmas season honey, a now placid Nkechi, who doesn’t expect visitors?

Well, a poor man wishes them away… Besides, when I said we needed just one kilo, I didn’t know your sisters were coming. Your phone was bad remember, and I needed to pay the engineer to fix it. I didn’t have so much on me. You know how hard things have…

She didn’t let him finish. Her index finger to his lips was enough to cut the flow of words. She folded her arms around him and rested her head on his chest.

You’re not a poor man, she muffled.

————————————————————————-

Knock! Knock!! Knock!!!

Isabel, is that you? Nkechi shouted in excitement as she rushed towards the door, Kenechukwu and jumpy Prisca followed suit.

Well… It’s not only me o… Isabel teased… Call me legion, for we are many.

The chorus laughter could be heard in the background as the seven children, Adanne and their husbands laughed in excitement. The door opened and the children gushed in like water through a dam and Nkechi was greeted with more hugs than she could handle. Prisca and Kene received their fair share. On days like these, they would usually have more chairs than they owned, courtesy of their neighbours. Their pair of a 2 and a 3 seater brown coloured sofa would not accommodate the expected visitors. The neighbours in the residence were quite cordial and cooperative, unlike some other neighbourhoods in the Mushin area of Lagos.

They lived in a one-bedroom flat that had quite a spacious sitting-room, which was a source of joy to Chibuike, until he began to notice that his home was the preferred option for most gatherings among his peers. Nkechi was a great cook and a splendid host, while he was a cheerful fun-loving young man with two respectful children. They could easily stand out as one of the happy families around.

Except for the sweats that broke through the skin of their visitors intermittently, as the generator failed to start and there was no power supply to power the ceiling fan, the visit went just fine. Food was served – hot spicy rice and turkey to Isabel, Adanne and their husbands, while the children ate home-baked cake and chin-chin. They all had chilled zobo drink to wash down their meal and were excited and filled. Chats and gossips flew around, different stories told, and corrections made to the versions that weren’t so accurate, then of course arguments ensued, some were won, some were lost, some were just dropped as they became burdensome or boring, and others simply deferred to perpetuity with an “I’d…” or “let me get back to you on this” and of course, nobody expected any “getting back to”. Chibuike ensured his guests had a good time laughing to his jokes and funny comments. He also made sure the visit ended with a word of prayer and the visitors were on their way.

————————————————————————-

Honey! Honey!!

Hey honey, you’re yelling and I’m darl remember. Oh… I know just where you’re heading to.

She burst into laughter… He joined her laughing.

They are all gone like we should never have worried about them, right? She said smiling and looking a bit sorry.

Yeah right, he replied. But how did you do it? I thought we had only three pieces of meat. I see how you sorted the children, but I’m not sure how you turned three pieces of meat to four, he smiled.

She quipped at him. I guessed right. You don’t even compliment my new hairdos lately. You’re not paying so much attention to detail these days.

Ahn ahn… It’s not like that, I’m just a little distracted, he tried to patronize her. Please tell me what magic you did na, maybe we even have some leftover baskets hidden somewhere, he added.

She laughed.

Well, I cut one piece in two anyways, the largest of the three. Hahaha!! They both laughed.

You’re such a genius in the kitchen. I knew you were going to fix it.

Fix what? She teased. By the way, that generator that refused to start, we didn’t have fuel, right?

Emmm… He stammered… It’s not like I couldn’t get some fuel, but you see, your people that came to visit did not give thoughts to buying even a small gift for us, not even pencils for Kene and Prisca to resume school with in January.

So you decided to punish them with heat eh, She retorted.

Not me actually, Mother Nature did, he smirked, shrugging his shoulders.

She shook her head and returned the smirk. Sense will not kill you. Nwokem, go and bring money to buy more turkey biko. I’m hosting my friends from secondary school tomorrow, I missed the chat too.

Chibuike placed his hand on his chest and fell face-down on their sofa, pretending to have slumped from a heart attack and Nkechi ‘slumped‘ on his back too.

Ahhhh! You will break my back this woman, he shouted. But ehhh… You’re joking right?

I thought you had just slumped, she replied.

They both laughed so hard they fell off the sofa.

Watch out for Episode 2…